


Amends

by Poppins_you_flirt



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Cancer, Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Heartache, Love, Pain, Sad, Sisters, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:34:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24126694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poppins_you_flirt/pseuds/Poppins_you_flirt
Summary: An alternate ending to the episode (24th April) when Vanessa's comes home after throwing the drink in that guys face.
Relationships: Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 1
Kudos: 73





	Amends

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, I actually started to write this after reading spoilers for that episode. After watching it and hating how it played out, I decided to put my own spin on how I'd of liked the episode to end. Hope you like.

Amends

She was furious.

Slamming the door behind her as she left Jacobs fold, her feet moved with purpose through the village. She could feel her heart hammering in her chest as red hot anger coursed through her veins. What the hell had happened today? She'd woken up feeling guilty for causing a scene at the hospital the day before and so had gone out of her way to try and make up for it.

The breakfast in bed she'd been wanting to make Vanessa had gone out the window when the vet had arrived downstairs earlier than she thought she would. After another attempt at an apology, she'd told her fiancè she wanted to mend bridges by making her feel like a million dollars. She had everything laid out ready, including a little bell for the vet to use if she needed something out of reach.  
  
Ofcourse, when Rhona had arrived, it had taken less than a couple of minutes for Vanessa to more or less grab her friend and run out of the house. Charity had hung around for an hour or so waiting for her to come back but when she didn't return, she decided to head out to the shops to buy a few more items which she hoped would melt the vets icy exterior.   
  
While out she'd decided she'd make the family a a special dinner. A nice home cooked meal would be the just the ticket to Vanessa's heart... _._ _r_ _ight?_ So all afternoon she'd slaved away in the kitchen aswell as keeping tabs on Johnny who Tracy had brought back from day care early. What she hasn't banked on while waiting for Vanessa to come home was seeing a video online of her wife to be, throwing a pint in some guys face. I mean, what the hell? Vanessa was meant to be over at Rhona’s, having a catch up over a cuppa, not in some bar getting in fights with random blokes.  
  
Then when the vet had arrived home, slumping against the pillar, Charity was flabbergasted by the sight of her fiancè. The short, cutting remarks about Charity loving the drama were...well, while accurate had still stung. She needed to get out. Part of her had wanted to break down and cry but she wouldn't let herself do that in front of the kids or Vanessa, who she was trying so hard to be strong for...  
  
Enough was enough though. For weeks now she'd been walking on egg shells around Vanessa. She'd bent over backwards trying to make the house as germ free as possible aswell as making sure Vanessa was as comfortable as she could be. For the first time in her life she was at the beck and call of someone and look where it had gotten her? She'd gone soft and right now, she hated that. She loved Vanessa more than she'd ever loved anyone else in her life. The thought of losing her was...it was unimaginable. She didn't know how she'd function but having Vanessa treat her like this...she wasn't sure how much longer she could tolerate being made a mockery of.   
  
Regretting not bringing a coat with her, she folded her arms over her chest, squeezing her torso as she made her way over to the Woolpack. Pulling open the door, she moved over to the bar. "Vodka, Bob."  
  
Bob looked at the blonde cautiously. "It's your night off boss, you really want to spend it in here?"  
  
"You might wona remember who pays your wages before you give me a lecture. Vodka. _Now_."  
  
Lifting his arms in surrender, Bob moved to the back of the bar, picked up a glass and lifted it to the bottle suspended on the rack.  
  
"Just pass over a fresh bottle" Charity told him.   
  
Glancing back at her, he decided not to protest any further. Bending down, he retrieved an unopened bottle from beneath the bar and took it over to his boss, placing it on the bar top along with the glass.  
  
Without saying another word, Charity picked up the items and moved to the far end of the pub, slipping into the vacant corner booth. Unscrewing the bottle top, she poured herself a generous amount of the liquid before slamming the bottle onto the table. Lifting the glass, she gulped down a couple of mouthfuls, the strong taste causing her to cringe as it slipped down her throat.  
  
Placing the glass back down on the table, she could feel herself begin to well up. Her grip around the glass tightened as she fought against the tears. She would not let herself break down in here. Lifting the glass again she took another couple of gulps. Drinking would numb the pain.

It always did.  
  
Xxxxxxxxxxx  
  
Looking over her shoulder, Tracy watched from the sofa as her older sister gingerly turned at the bottom of the stairs and came over to join her. "Feel any better?"  
  
Hugging her arms around her stomach, Vanessa shook her head slightly before sinking onto the sofa beside the younger woman. "Don't think there's anythin' left in me now. Hurled about 12 times."  
  
"I'm not surprised the amount Rhona said you'd knocked back. Seriously V, should you even be drinkin' while you're having the chemo?"  
  
"Probably not to the extent I did today, no. I just... I needed that blow out Trace. Yea, maybe I took things a bit too far but..."  
  
 _"A bit too far?_? Ness, you've gone _viral_. That videos been liked over 12,000 times in the last 2 hours. You're like a proper internet sensation tonight. Sarah and Noah think you're hilarious. They're commenting saying you're their step mum and granny. I saw this one comment saying you were a proper MILF."  
  
Vanessa frowned. "What's a MILF?"  
  
Tracy laughed. "A mother they'd like to...you know..." She gestured with her fingers what she meant which caused Vanessa's face to drop opened in disgust. "Hey, it's a good thing.. _.usually_. All the lads love a MILF."  
  
Cringing, Vanessa rubbed at her temples. "I don't even know how any of this happened. We were havin' a great time, reliving our youth you know? We hadn't been in there since we left Uni."  
  
"So what happened that made you throw the drink in his face?"  
  
"He saw the bag" she said, pointing to her stomach. Tracy nodded in understanding. "He thought it was hilarious and I just lost it."  
  
Tracy nodded. "Sounds like he deserved it then. You don't half enjoy tipping drinks on people, dont ya?" She said with a grin, nudging her elbow in to Vanessa's arm. The vet smiled weakly in response. "You reckon Charity’s gona come back soon?"  
  
Vanessa got lost in her own thoughts for a few seconds at the mention of her fiancé. "I don't know."  
  
"I know I'm your sister and I'm meant to be on your side V, but you were pretty awful to her earlier."  
  
The older woman nodded slightly. "Yea."  
  
"She's been doin' loads for you an'all you know? She'd been waiting all day for you to come home. She'd been out and bought new slippers and candles and a load of body butter, apparently2 she added with creased eyebrows. “She wanted you to come home so she could look after you. She even made you a Shepards pie. I just had a bowl of it before there. It's proper nice."  
  
The more Tracy went on, the more guilt crept into the vet’s body. "I think that's why I needed to get out though, Trace. She's been doing everything short of wiping my arse after I go to the loo. I feel...I feel like an invalid to be honest."  
  
"She just wants to look after you. Somethin' I never imagined Charity actually doin'. It's crazy how much she loves you."  
  
"Yea, I know she does and I love her too but...I'm just not used to being taken care of. It's always just been me, you know? Mum was never really that hands on when I was ever ill as a kid. If I had a sickness bug, she'd leave me with a bucket in me room. Just had to get on with it, you know?"  
  
"Well maybe it's time you open yourself up and allow someone to take care of you for a change? I get that this is scary V, I really do and I also understand that people who go through things like this take their frustration out on the people they love. You need to try and start letting Charity look after you though, before you push her away for good."  
  
"Has she called or text?"  
  
Tracy shook her head. "Nope. I'm guessing she's gona follow through on her threat of leavin' you to cope without her."  
  
Chewing on the inside of her mouth Vanessa gingerly leant forward, picking her phone off the coffee table. Taking off the lock she found she had loads of messages from various people that had seen the video of her online. "Oh God..."  
  
"Yea, you're phone kept goin' off with notifications. Didn't know your lock screen pin though."  
  
Filtering through the messages her hopes were dashed when not one of the 11 messages were from Charity. Going to her contacts, she clicked on her fiancé's name, swiping to call her. The call however went straight to voicemail. She hung up before it could connect. "Guess she turned her phone off."  
  
"You know what she's like. She'll just need a bit time to cool off then I'm sure she'll be back by bedtime."  
  
Suddenly Vanessa really wanted to see her fiancé. She knew she probably owed Charity an apology.   
  
"I might head off then, give you some time to chill."  
  
"Yea, alright. Thanks for stickin' around with the kids while I pulled myself 'round tonight."  
  
"Don't mention it. Look after yourself, yea? And please, try make nice with Charity when she gets back. You need eachother right now, more than you realise."  
  
Xxxxxxxx  
  
Deciding to have a quick pint before heading home, Tracy wandered into the Woolpack. "Alright Bob, pint please" she smiled as she arrived at the bar top.  
  
"Comin' right up" the barman said.  
  
Glancing around the bar Tracy's eyes eventually landed on Charity, slumped in the corner of the booth on the other side of the pub. "Ugh, how longs she been in here?" She asked Bob, nodding her head in Charity's direction.   
  
"Couple of hours now" Bob replied. "She's been nursing that bottle of vodka since she got here. Tried talkin' to her but..."  
  
After paying for her drink, she headed around the bar, slipping into Charity’s booth. "So this is where you ran off to, eh?"  
  
It took Charity a few moments to register someone had sat across the table from her. She'd been lost in her thoughts for God knows how long and the half empty bottle of vodka had sat untouched for the last half hour. "Yep. You got me. Drowning my cares away, aren't I?" Her hand clasped around the glass which she lifted in the air between them before she brought it to her mouth, emptying the droplets of alcohol that still remained in the bottom. Realising her glass was empty, she reached for the bottle, intent on giving herself a refill once more.  
  
"Ugh..." Tracy said, her hand reaching out and tugging the bottle out of Charity’s hand. "I think you've had enough for tonight, yea?"  
  
"Erm, excuse me? Who do you think you are?" She protested, trying to grab the bottle back.  
  
"I'm your future sister in law and I'm lookin' out for you, alright?"  
  
Charity blew out a puff of air. "Shame you didn't look out for your actual sister, ain't it? She went out and got stottin' drunk today and everyone thinks it's hilarious, but when I do it, it's all... _drama_..." She sang, mimicking what Vanessa had said to her a couple of hours earlier.  
  
Tracy rolled her eyes. "You need to go home, Charity. Ness has sobered up. She's feeling pretty lousy an'all."  
  
"Good. I hope she feels like shit."  
  
"You don't mean that."  
  
"Pfft" Charity replied, her fingers pushing the empty glass back and forth on the table. "No, I don't." She finally whispered.  
  
"Hey..." Tracy's hand reached over the table, wrapping around the back of Charity's. "You did nothing wrong, alright? You've done so much for V these last few weeks and she does appreciate it, she's just... She's not used to having someone love her this much. She's scared and frustrated and angry and she's taking it out on you because she loves you too. This is new for the both of you and it's scary but together you's will get through it."  
  
"I'm trying Trace. I don't know what else I can do. I'm not..." She sighed, her hand coming to rub at her eyes. "I feel like everything I'm doing is wrong. I feel like she hates me."  
  
"Course she doesn't hate you. You're just like...her punching bag. She obviously feels comfortable enough to take out her frustrations on you coz she thinks no matter how bad things get, you'll still be there for her."  
  
"I don't know how much more I can take. I feel scared and weak and.. just rubbish. I'm rubbish Tracy."  
  
"No you're not. Charity, I'll be the first to tell you when you's first got together I had some serious doubts. Your reputation proceeded you" she said with a laugh which caused Charity to smile. "But over these last couple of years, I've never seen anyone love someone more than you do my sister. You've changed so much, and all for the better and I don't think there's anyone in the world, me included that could look after Ness more than you are right now. You just have to try and stay strong, take the abuse and just remember that it's not Vanessa talking. She loves you Charity and she needs you now more than ever."  
  
"What if I'm not good enough?"  
  
"You _are_ good enough. And I'll be here everyday to keep tellin' you that, alright? If you ever feel like things are getting too hard, I'll be there to help, alright? We're a team and if you need help with the kids or to talk some sense into my sister, I'll be there."  
  
The bar owner looked back at the younger woman, giving her a tight lipped but genuine smile. "I should get back home."  
  
"How about you stay and have a coffee first eh? Sober up a bit and keep me company while I have this pint?"  
  
Xxxxxxxxxxx  
  
Coming through the front door half an hour later, Charity was thankful when the warmth of the house engulfed her after having walked from the pub with only her thin jumper on. Closing the door, she noticed the telly on and a few seconds later, Vanessa's head appeared from the other side of the sofa where she'd obviously been lying down. They stared at each other for a few moments, both willing the other to make the first move.  
  
Eventually it was Vanessa that spoke. "Hi."  
  
Visibly relaxing slightly, Charity took a few more steps closer to the sofa. "Alright?"  
  
Sitting up, Vanessa pulled the blanket around her legs. "Not gona lie, I feel pretty crap."  
  
"Not surprised. Sounded like you had quite a bit to drink."  
  
Vanessa nodded. "Too much."  
  
Charity stood at the end of the sofa, her thumbs hooked into the back pockets of her jeans as she looked down at the vet cautiously. She wanted to rant at her about being stupid and irresponsible when she had medication coursing through her body but she really didn't feel up to another argument.   
  
"You gona sit?" Vanessa asked, her hand reaching out to pat at the cushion beside her. The taller woman hesitated for a few moments before moving to sit beside her fiancè. Vanessa eyed the other woman, smelling the alcohol on her when she moved closer. When Charity finally sat, the vet reached a hand over to take a hold of Charity’s. "You're freezing..." She said, immediately moving to lift the blanket from her own lap so it draped over the other woman's thighs aswell.  
  
"Yea, it's cold out and I didn't take a jacket earlier..."  
  
"You mean when you stormed out?"  
  
Charity nodded. "You know me, babe. All about the drama."  
  
Vanessa had the good right to look sheepishly back at the bar owner. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."  
  
"We both know you meant it."  
  
"Not in the way it came out, I didn't. I'm not just apologising for that though. I meant about today in general. For runnin' out and leavin' when all the while you'd gone through all this trouble for me."  
  
Charity shrugged, her fingers idly picking at something on the blanket. "Not sure what you want me to say, babe."  
  
Vanessa's hand reached over to grasp the bar owners again. "You don't have to say anything. You've done so much for me these past few weeks. Taking care of our boys, keeping me right with my meds, cooking my meals but most of all, lookin after me. I think I've...I've been overwhelmed by it all if I'm honest."  
  
Charity nodded. "You think I'm smothering you still?"  
  
"Not in a bad way. I'm guessing alot of people would be beyond grateful to have someone go above and beyond like you are. I'm just...I've never had someone care about me this much."  
  
"Sometimes I wish I didn't care as much. It'd be alot easier and I reckon it'd hurt alot less if I was the person I've been in the past. Always just lookin' out for number one, bailing when the goin' got tough, you know? Best way to not get your heart broken, ain't it?"  
  
"Oh, Charity. The last thing I wona do is break your heart. I'm really sorry if it's looked like I don't appreciate everything you're doing, coz I _really_ do. You've done so much for me and... I love you for it. More than you know. I think everything's just getting on top of me. I mean, finding out I had cancer right before getting held hostage by Pierce. You can't write this stuff. Not to mention I lost my dad less than a year ago. There's just so much going on inside my head and I'm struggling to cope with it all. That's what today was about. I needed a complete blow out and while part of me regrets it, the other part of me loved every exhilarating moment of it."  
  
"Even the part where you drowned a student?"  
  
Taking her bottom lip between her teeth, Vanessa looked sheepishly back at her fiancè. "Would it be wrong to say I kind of enjoyed doing that? He was mocking my medication bag."  
  
Charity frowned. "Was he? Well if I'd been there babe, there'd of been none of this pint tossin'. He'd of met up with my fist."  
  
"Probably best you weren't there then. Wouldn't know what I'd do if you ended up getting arrested."  
  
"You saying you couldn't cope without me?"  
  
Vanessa shook her head. "No, I really couldn't. I don't want a life without you in it."  
  
"And I don't want a life without _you_ in it, babe so please, can we just get on the same page? I know it's your body and you're the one who's actually got the cancer but will you please just let me help you fight it? Let me be there for you and not push me away?" Vanessa was about to speak but Charity cut her off. "And yea, alright I'll try not to smother you but it's only coz I love you so flippin’ much. I've never been this scared and felt this physically sick about something in my whole life...and I've been through alot of scrapes, babe, but this.. This is somethin' else entirely and for once, I wona be here, every step of the way. Can you let me do that for you?"  
  
Tears were brimming on the vets lids as she smiled. "Ofcourse I will. I'm just so... _terrified,_ Charity. I'm terrified that I won't beat this and Johnny will lose his mum and I'll never get to see him grow up" she said before tears broke free, her hand coming up to wipe them away.  
  
Charity repositioned her body, taking both of Vanessa's hands in her own. "You need to start thinkin' positively. No more _what ifs._ No more _my life is over_. You need to start believin' that you're gona beat this. You're so strong, Ness. I know you can do it. And once the time comes for you to ring that bell, I'm gona finally take you down the aisle and make you my wife. My old ball and chain" she added with a wink. "How does that sound, eh?"  
  
A broken laugh left Vanessa's mouth. "Givin' me something to aim for?"  
  
Charity nodded. "Too right I am. It's been a long time over due. Those wedding dresses upstairs are doin' nowt but collect dust. Don't seem right."  
  
The vet nodded back, wiping the tear tracks from her cheeks. Looking into Charity's eyes she smiled. "I love you, Charity."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
Xxxxxxxxxxxxx


End file.
